I used to weigh 216 lbs. As a 5’1″ female that’s a lot. I used to binge every time I felt worthless which was often throughout the day.
Weight Gain & Loss
It started when I moved out on my own. Even though my parents were always on my case and I thought I’d be better off without them, I wasn’t expecting to feel so bad. I think my parents gave me something to focus on (them!) which meant I wasn’t tuned in to my own feelings.
I was overweight still but only by about 40lbs compared to being 94 now. I just ate and ate my emotions away and got bigger. I also felt worse the bigger I got.
I probably would have continued too if my older brother didn’t suggest I get help so I owe him one. I started reading everything I could click on and started to realize I had all the signs of stuffing my emotions down with food. I knew this before but at least I was face to face with it now.
I didn’t have a plan really but I knew I needed to do something so I started trying all kinds of crazy diets and also a few suggestions I read, and some of them stuck. That was all before I found this site. I did manage to lose enough weight to get me back to where I was when I moved out which was 160.
I ate less but still binged everyday and hated myself for it. The best thing I got from EatingLove was that it was okay that I still binged and that I should not be so hard on myself. That I was going up against primal forces here and should chill and see what can be done to help instead.
Wish I had read that earlier on.
So like I was saying I still binged and had takeout 4 times per week. There’s this Chinese place just outside my apartment that I get it from. The smell alone walking by is enough to get me in there and when I don’t then I think about the food I’m missing all night.
So here’s what I did and what I could suggest:
1- My breakfast. I drank a huge mug of vegetable broth each morning followed by 2 rice cakes. Yes I was really just trying to trick my body into feeling full by filling my tummy up with lots of hot, salty liquid and bulky rice cakes. It didn’t always work but most often it did and I got away with eating barely any calories for breakfast.
2- My Lunch. By this time I was hungry so I couldn’t do a repeat of breakfast and so had to eat something that’s real food. One thing I got from a friend’s Facebook page was to eat a big bowl of ground beef with some melted cheese on it (hey, no carbs!) It wasn’t a diet tip because she was just showing it off on her wall and it looked so good so I tried it and it seemed to make me full.
3- Dinner. Well that was hit and miss most of the time I won’t lie. I told you I did take-out 4 times per week and they weren’t small orders either. Dumplings, noodles, sauces, rolls and then dessert. They have tasty cookies. But what I did do was try to eat slowly so that it made me feel like I was taking a long time and eating a lot.
4- Drawing. This literally saved my butt. Or made it smaller haha. I used to draw when I lived at home and I really enjoyed it but after some time I felt like it was a waste of time and that I should get more serious with my life. I forgot though how much it calmed me down and made me sleep better even. The best part was it preoccupied me during times I usually wanted to snack so that was something really good.
I included a picture of my hobby with the website paper as it is the symbol of my half weight loss. I lost weight but am staying where I am and the scale isn’t budging anymore and that has me down a bit.
I imagine it’s all the cookies but I can’t give everything up. I’m going to try out some other things here and then see if I can find a therapist that works on the cheap and hope that that will help me lose more.
But thank you thank you to EatingLove because at least I feel better, like I am not a complete nothing, loser and that it’s okay to screw up a lot as long as I am trying. That’s worth so much, to me at least.
If anyone wants to talk or compare note or trade tips and stuff you can email me.
JL – email@example.com
THE EATING LOVE GUIDE (FREE)
The Eating Love Guide has helped many people regain control of their eating patterns, resulting not only in weight loss but also better health and improved self-esteem. To read it online, click here.