As seen on social media, a post about how to overcome boredom eating, or emotional eating.
That image is telling us it has the answer to emotional eating. Is it correct?
They advise people to simply ‘get their needs met’ and by the looks of it they promote things like …
1- Listening to music and dancing.
2- Taking a bubble bath.
3- Reading a good book.
There’s nothing wrong with these things, they’re actually great activities to partake in. It’s just that they won’t help with emotional eating.
If all of those ways (above) of being kind to ourselves doesn’t meet our needs, then what does?
Our Needs Generally Involve other People
The needs that are going unmet, and are responsible for our emotional eating usually involve our most important relationships.
When we are not 100% ourselves with others then we feel disconnected and lonely. Food becomes our coping mechanism to replace a true, authentic connection with others. These others are our parents, spouse, kids, boss, friends, and the outside world … in that order.
But what if you’re just unhappy with your job? You became a computer programmer and now are unhappy there, and want something different?
Well, why did you become one? Did you feel it would please your parents or society in some unconscious way? Does your boss remind you of your dad? Or is your boss a pushover and not at all like your dad? In that case you’re avoiding your dad. Are you sabotaging your life to get back at your parents? Keeping yourself unhappy? What are you not telling them?
I could write pages on this issue but suffice it to say that our needs are to be ourselves – and find out what ourselves even is – in front of others.
See the main page of this site, the guide …
… for more tips on how to properly manage emotional eating.
When we can be ourselves we can finally be “seen” for who we really are, not for the false self or mask that we wear. When we are seen we are actually there, and then we can be connected.
Think about what would happen if you were completely authentic that with everyone? Expressing how you feel and your opinions in a matter-of-fact way? Now feel the dread that comes up at the idea (think about an Asian teen telling his parents he doesn’t want to be a doctor). Then feel the need to soothe that dread, and see how you want to reach for food or some other distraction.
This explanation is very incomplete but it does paint a more complex picture of what emotional eating really entails.
Simply giving a few lines of advice and pretending that’s effective is misleading.
THE EATING LOVE GUIDE (FREE)
The Eating Love Guide has helped many people regain control of their eating patterns, resulting not only in weight loss but also better health and improved self-esteem. To read it online, click here.