EATING LOVE GUIDE - 4



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Guide - Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Emotions 1 - Emotions 2 - Emotions 3

CHAPTER 4 - PREPARING YOUR MIND



"It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop. - Confucius"

If you are going to take on the monster you will need to be ready mentally, and fortunately, this doesn't require any work on your part.

All you have to do is read this chapter and orient your thinking to accept the conditions that this process requires to be successful.

Emotional change is gradual and non-linear. If this isn't accepted, people generally become frustrated and start looking for something new that promises a better way. They jump from one bandwagon to the next looking for the 'right' way only to look back after 10 years and see that their time and efforts were all wasted.

Had they only taken their time and did a little each day, properly and conscientiously, what a foundation they would have had by now, in terms of being a new and different person.

If this describes you, it's not too late to make things better. It never is.

BUILDING YOUR BRICK WALL

The actor Will Smith appeared on the TV show 'Charlie Rose' and told the story of being a teen and working for his father. His father asked Will and his younger brother to build a LONG and LARGE brick wall that was needed for the family business.

It seemed a formidable task and Will was reluctant. His father sensed that and told him, "you don't have to build a wall ... all you have to do is lay one brick as best you can. And then do it again and again ..."

Will did as his father asked (or ordered) and worked on it everyday after school. Then one day, after months of work, it was done. After laying the last brick Will stood back to take a look and he almost couldn't believe it was there. He looked at it, as if to say, 'where did this come from?' He was in disbelief.

Big changes happen with small steps taken daily, regularly and with your best effort for that SMALL action.

In your case - emotional eating and taking on the monster - put in a few minutes of quality effort each day and in time you will surprise yourself at how far you will have come.

Will's brick wall could not have been built in a day and it seemed to him initially that it could not have been built at all.

Mindset for Emotional Eating Diet Change


It's the same with your monster. It IS formidable and it cannot be tamed in just one day or one week or one month. If you are expecting to be free of him very soon and see big changes in a short time frame then the chances of doing the work properly and attaining that goal are slim.

THE GOOD NEWS

I should have titled this subsection 'the better news' since the good news is that the monster is able to be tamed with small daily efforts.

The better news is that you will start to feel better, bit by bit, in the short term so you will get small daily rewards by looking inward.

We can compare this inner work to the work a person needs to do in the gym. If they are just starting out and are true, out of shape beginners, it would probably seem impossible to think that one day they'd become slim and toned. But if they go anyway and workout regularly and do the exercises they were given, after a few weeks they'll notice that they have more tone in their legs and that maybe their clothes fit a 'tad' looser and the scale has dipped a tiny bit.

They are not close to their goal in the slightest. But the change is there and is exciting!

Will they ever have the 'perfect' body?

The better question is, do they need the perfect body?

Do they need perfection to be happier with themselves, with life and to be healthier. Many female gym-goers report feeling that in the past they thought they were fat and unattractive. Then 5-10 years later these same women have gone through pregnancies and motherhood and work stress and bad eating habits and intensified emotional overeating and end up weighing much more than they were when they initially complained.

They look back at pictures of their former selves and WISH they looked like that. They look back and think it insane for thinking they were unattractive. And now, they would be so 'happy' if they could just look like they used to again.

Improvement makes us happy.

THE GAMBLER

The next concept that is important to internalize in order to create the change you want with your diet, weight and emotional health is one that I call Oscillating Progress (OP). It's the similar to the '2 steps forward one step back' rule of progress except OP is much more random.

If I were to take the example of a professional gambler and how he conducts himself to be successful, I would see OP in action.

He would know that he has a strong opponent - and I'm not talking about the casino. His strongest opponent are his own emotions. To keep them in check he'd have to have a plan and stick to it and fight any urges that result from his emotional state that try to push him away from that plan.

He knows that he cannot always win those battles and factors that into the equation. He knows he will win on many occasions but will also walk away a loser (money-wise) on many evenings, and understands that that will be frustrating and stressful but that it is also part of the overall plan, and so he accepts the failures when they occur.

He knows that within each gambling session he will be on a roller coaster ride being up over $1000 one minute and then being in the hole for the same amount the next, and that he will have to settle with whatever he ends up with at the end of his play.

He knows that at the end of each week, month or gambling period he may be down a lot of money (after all that work) but won't consider it a wasted effort.

He knows it will not be linear but that over time he will be ahead and that is what counts to him. Progress over time.

SO WHAT CAN YOU EXPECT?

Expect the same thing that the gambler expects. Expect that on some days you won't be able to connect to the void and that your cravings will still have full control over you. That after thinking you were doing well for awhile, you find yourself back where you started the very next day. That not only does it feel like the process will take forever but that it isn't going anywhere at all.

If you can accept that that is how the process will unfold you will be much better able to weather the storm and create lasting change in your body and in your life.

Accept that this is part of the process and you will see that over time you are much further ahead than you have ever been in your life. Actually you'll be much further ahead than most people ever will. Not many take on their personal demons.

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Guide - Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Emotions 1 - Emotions 2 - Emotions 3